The commercials conjure up images of giddy, shiny-legged teenage girls, but all I can picture when I hear the words "battery-powered vibrating razor" is those same girls sobbing openly over the shredded carnage that was once their lower limbs.
Here is a picture of the ill-conceived death stick also known as the Venus Vibrance. Note how they try to distract you from its evilness with the cunning use of pink:
I'm pretty sure that "gently exfoliates" is marketing code for "hacks off a layer of dermis like a rabid lawnmower."
I guess this is how it's supposed to work -- the vibrating action stimulates your skin so that the hairs stand up, thus making them easier to shave. According to Gillette, users of the VV report a "soft massaging sensation" from the razor. Uhhh...? Now I am as big a fan of massage as the next girl, but there are just certain things that shouldn't be involved in the massaging + tender flesh equation. Like battery acid. Or shards of glass. Or, I don't know... RAZOR BLADES.
And do they really expect us to take a battery-operated device into the shower with us? The shower is slippery and dangerous enough as it is... why put oneself at risk for electrocution? I will keep my battery-operated devices right where they belong, thankyouverymuch -- in the top drawer of my nightstand.
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