I just got the most hiiiilarious text message I think I've ever received. It's from a dude I thought I had managed to sufficiently blow off several weeks ago. This is what it said:
hey wanna meet up for some rough sex tonight?
Allow me to explain, in list form, why this message invokes such hilarity.
1.) I haven't spoken to this guy in weeks, possibly months.
2.) We never had sex of any kind, not even soft-focus lens, gentle sex. Heck, we didn't even dry hump.
3.) He is a tiny, tiny person and weighs about the same as me, which is not a great deal. I don't think this guy is capable of rough thumb-wrestling, let alone rough sex.
I have NO IDEA how to respond to this, but I do know that whenever I need a laugh during these next few days, I will go back and read that text. Oh man, I am smiling to myself like a total asshole right now.
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