NINE O'CLOCK.
PEE EM. On FRIDAY.
A year of eating lunch by myself, a year of bad office coffee, a year of the maintenance guy being in the ladies' room every single time I had to pee, a year of reading press releases that are so boring they made the mid-term election voter guide seem like a Crichton novel in comparison. A year of trying to plan outfits that are casual, but not so casual that they could be interpreted as inappropriate... and cute, but not too cute, because no one wants to waste their cutest outfits on work, because inevitably by the end of the day you feel crumpled and vaguely sweaty, and there is no chance of your cute outfit being revived for more exciting purposes.
And since that all feels a little dismal, and since I'm dying for a vacation, I've decided to reminesce about last year's vacation in Costa Rica.
Ah, Costa Rica.
Last year on Thanksgiving I had lobster dinner instead of turkey dinner. On the beach. In Costa Rica. This year's Thanksgiving is probably going to be a little lackluster after all that. So I'm just gonna go ahead and live in the past for a moment.
One of the first little towns I visited was La Fortuna, home of the Arenal Volcano. Here is a photo of the Arenal Volcano:
What I really love is the little sign pointing you toward the volcano. As if you might be standing there thinking, "Ok, I know there is a volcano around here somewhere... my guide book said it was in this general vicinity..." Because, hello! It's right in front of your face, and it's a fecking giant volcano!
La Fortuna is also home of this, which makes me giggle for reasons I cannot fully explain:
There is a lot of super fun stuff to do around La Fortuna -- volcano hiking, rappelling down waterfalls, whitewater rafting, horseback riding, karaoking with locals -- and I took advantage of all of the above.
Here I am looking stylish in my helmet, hideous Tevas, and crotch harness as I prepare for rappelling:
I wish I had actual pictures of me rappelling and whitewater rafting, because how badass, right? But sadly I didn't have a waterproof camera, so you'll just have to imagine me looking badass swinging from a rope and paddling a raft.
Here I am looking fetching in a large tarp atop a horse. You will notice a common theme in these photos -- me looking uber chic, classy and well-coiffed:
We rode our horses part way to the next town, Monteverde. Now, I had been told all I would need for my Costa Rica trip was a bikini and some sunglasses. Well, that was horrible advice. Because Monteverde is located in what they call a cloud forest. A cloud forest happens when you are so high in elevation that you have reached, like, another layer of atmosphere: the layer of atmosphere where the clouds live. Clouds like it there because it's cold. Girls in bikinis do not so much like it there, and I was forced purchase a puffy black jacket, which became part of my ever-more-stylish repertoire of activity-appropriate clothing.
In the cloud forest there were trees and vines:
And colorful birds that were hard to see:
And coatis, which were freakish, overly friendly cousins of the racoon:
And me looking sexy in a puffy jacket and ill-fitting helmet:
Actually, the helmet was for purposes of ziplining. Ziplining is an activity whereby you fly through the forest canopy, like, a gazillion miles up, on a cord, whilst peeing your pants:
After the Monteverde cloud forest pants-peeing experience, we took a long van ride to the port town of Quepos. Except our van broke down for a few hours, so we were stuck at this little road-side stand for a while. But actually it was really pleasant -- shady, right near a stream, and populated by an adorable little boy who occupied himself by singing karaoke to the Spanish music station that was playing on the TV.
Here are me and Beth, fellow traveler and tiny Texan, by the stream:
And here is my karaoke virtuoso boyfriend. He was aDORable, and totally pretended to be all shy when he realized he had an audience. But that only lasted about 30 seconds before he really turned on the charm:
We also stopped at an open-air market on the road to Quepos, but the only thing I reeeeeeally wanted there was not for sale:
Quepos itself was kind of eh, but really close by is the Manuel Antonio National Park and beachal area (yes, I did just say "beachal"), and that was aaaaamazing. I stayed for a couple of days at a hostel right next to the reserve, and this was the view from my hammock:
There were also butterflies the size of my head, which was frightening when I considered what other prehistoric-sized insects might be lurking about, waiting to carry me off to their giant webs or nests or dens or whatever. This butterfly had little see-through windows in its wings -- it was like nothing I'd ever seen before:
Furthermore, there was a lot of drinking. Drinking of tropical drinks with tiny umbrellas:
Drinking of beers on boats (WARNING: gratuitous bikini shots):
Drinking of beers in oceans:
And, finally, there were some of the most beautiful sunsets ever:
So, that is what I was doing exactly one year ago. And while picking my nose at my desk is pretty far up there on my list of all-time favorite activities, I would be enjoying it a lot more if there were a hammock, or a tiny umbrella, or a giant butterfly, or some Spanish-language karaoke involved.
